Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 081 - Summer Fun - One Activity That Can Make a Big Difference for Your Child
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 081 – Summer Fun: One Activity That Can Make a Big Difference for Your Child
Onions, green beans, strawberries, peppers…my youngest daughter loves each of these foods. My girl might be pocket-sized, but she has a big appetite! For a few years, she has wanted her own garden. We actually tried to care for a vegetable garden a couple of years ago, but the effort was a complete failure. My husband had helped my daughter plant seeds of her choice in a specific area of our yard, but it turned out to be way too shady for a garden. I take credit for the lack of success. I’m the one who selected the spot. Because we live in a neighborhood with an active HOA, I thought the area would work because the garden would be placed in ground that wasn’t highly visible.
Because our daughter never let us forget her desire to garden, my husband chose the spot this year. In fact, he built her a garden area on the other side of the yard – one right out in the open and supported by full sun. So far, this garden is thriving. It’s doing well enough that we’re praying deer and rabbits don’t come eat everything God is growing.
It's been a joy to hear my husband and daughter pray for their garden at night during family prayers. This week our daughter experienced weeding for the first time. She’s also been watering the garden well and collecting more roly polys for her indoor habitat.
I enjoy seeing our youngest outdoors. She’s not one who likes to play outside. With health limitations, she can’t do much activity, and the sun, heat, and humidity take quiet a toll on her. Because she loves nature, she does like to go outside with her camera and specimen jars, collecting memories and documenting plants, animals, and insects at her pace and in the cooler times of the day. The garden helps her understand and appreciate nature at a deeper level as she works in the soil and experiences God work before her eyes as the plants flourish.
With so many children and teens using electronics for great portions of the day, I am thankful for the choices and pace we choose, especially in the summer. As my youngest connects with nature, she also connects with God at a level my words can’t teach her. She actually experiences God at work in the ways she appreciates, because of the way He created her. She hears God more clearly and praises Him more vocally.
I often remind her that when God created Adam and Eve, He placed them in a garden. We were meant to be outdoors. When I was a child, we played outside a lot. As I became a young mother, I didn’t take much time to be outdoors. My in-laws were big gardeners and lived in a home with five acres in the city. I didn’t really try to get outside there much, because of other things to do, but when I slowed down and walked their land, I always felt great peace. I believe God intentionally built each of us in this same way. Slowing down and connecting with Him, especially outdoors with our feet in the grass allows us a new connection that can’t help but sooth our spirit and lift our thoughts higher toward Him.
Last year at about this time, my other daughter was watering plants at a neighbor’s yard. I remember watching her as she moved around the perimeter of the gardens. There, I saw a decorative metal pinwheel. When the wind blew gently, the blade slowly moved, but when the wind increased, the pinwheel quickly spun without stopping for a several minutes.
The action of that cute garden accessory brought to my mind how challenging life can be. When the pinwheel blades stood still, which didn’t happen often, it reminded me of times when we have little going on. Perhaps things feel easy or we aren’t over-scheduled and moving from activity to project. In the moments the wind increased and the pinwheel began moving, it was mindful of the action of life. How quickly we move through the hours, not always realizing the precious eternal moments quietly presented to us daily.
When the blades furiously spun, it made me think of moments that feel uncontrollable or eternally long. Those moments when we’re faced with difficulties and trials easily become hardships that can break or define our faith. They’re the times that cause us to fall to our knees in surrender and prayer or remind us to remain bowed before the Father, depending on the level of the humility we already possess.
I remember being thankful for those moments spent watching the pinwheel. I sat doing nothing except observing the cycles of the blades, pondering faith and cherishing the quiet time that might bore others. Yet, without boredom how are we to deepen thoughts, explore feelings in light of truth, or hear the voice of God speak? If adults can’t face boredom, how can we mentor embracing a simpler life to our children? How can we mentor a life that makes time to ponder what we see, what we’ve lived, and how it measures up to God’s standards and expectations?
I believe that as parents, we need to remember to teach our children to embrace boredom. First, we need to develop our personal ability to stare boredom in the eye while remaining comfortable. This is an important ability that needs to be mentored to our children. We also need to give boredom a new definition. Instead of teaching our children that the word means, “a feeling of being wearied by dullness or tedious repetition,” relay to them that the word boredom means, “the opportunity to examine and search, to grow and learn.” Children cannot experience all that God has for them if they close their mind and heart to what this world teaches as boredom.
We need to make sure we don’t treat boredom as a dreaded disease. Instead, view boredom as a slot of time to think, explore, or reflect. It’s a time to learn new skills, serve, or simply rest in God’s Word and the depth of our relationship with Christ. Because adults can be uncomfortable with silence or stillness, we tend to teach our children to feel the same. Sometimes we even make ourselves feel guilty when we don’t have another activity to jump into. But there’s a difference between laziness and utilizing time. I remember times I felt bored as a child. In fact, those were the moments that my parents never rescued me from. Those feelings taught me to find something constructive to do, which usually involved creativity.
Now, as a Christian mom, I have taught my children that if they feel they have nothing to do, take time to stop complaining and start being creative or constructive for the Lord.
Of course, there is the chance that too much quiet time can be harmful to children. As wise parents, we strive for a balance that allows our children to develop and mature life skills they will carry and teach to the to the next generation. We monitor their activities, have insightful discussions and suggestions, and let them see us using time wisely in ways that stretch us, yet also allow time for creativity and glory for God.
I always kept supplies on hand for activities my children could do when in need of projects or entertainment. I use the word “entertainment” loosely, meaning that it is something that they can do and grow from. Yet I don’t want to imply that children need to be entertained constantly. Again, they – just as we do – need time to simply “be.” However, knowing that I kept items on hand helped spur creativity and the desire to try something new. Many of the items I held on hand went unused, but helped to spark new ideas and desires while other items continue to be used after many years. As you observe your unique children, you will learn what items to keep on hand to spur what you see they are passionate about or skilled at.
We’ve also supplied an area – ours is a table that can be used for projects and dreams to be birthed. Since we have a breakfast bar in the kitchen and a separate dining room table, our kitchen table really is the go-to spot for creativity in our home. As my middle daughter grew from age one to about eleven years of age, this was her spot. The table was always full of papers from plain white to cardstock to construction paper. The table was littered with glue, scissors, pens and pencils, markers, and paints. There she designed paintings, books, and characters that still live on in my mind. Memories of those beautiful early creative years became the beginning of the online business she runs today at nineteen.
After my youngest daughter came home to us as a nine year old, my middle daughter moved her favorite area to another spot and the table was passed on to our newest child. Since that time, our youngest has discovered her massive love of building. The table is now home to the creativity that flows through her hands as she constructs Lego masterpieces. It’s also where we enjoy most of our playtime together. See what area would work best in your home and create a place dreams can be investigated or experimented, so your children can find the aspirations and plans that bring joy to their spirit and honors the individuality God gifted to them.
Earlier in the podcast when I spoke about my youngest, I gave an example of how she also loves to study nature. She especially enjoys categorizing insects and animals. Using a camera, magnifying glass, and several mini terrariums she has created from jars and other containers, she has collected and observed many insects, yet the roly poly is her favorite. When she’s outdoors viewing nature, she feels closer to God and His creation and she has grown her understanding of science and nature. As she continues viewing God’s creation in this fun way, I see her knowledge, faith, and confidence increase while the usage of the word “boredom” has reduced to zero.
When your children change the way they view boredom, they master a life skill that enables them to reach the potential God has uniquely crafted inside.
Colossians 3:23 says, “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.” Isn’t this a beautiful and applicable verse to use for the occurrence of boredom? Kids (and adults) should learn to foster a cheerful heart despite their level of activity or interest in life situations. With that cheerful heart, we carry the privilege of honoring God in all we do, through our actions and our attitude.
Would you like to know the one activity that makes a big difference for your child – not only for this summer, but for life? Teach them that new definition of boredom that I shared earlier.
Mentor the way for your children to approach boredom as an opportunity to examine and search, to grow and learn.
Remember, when you teach your children to look at boredom through a different perspective, their brains get the opportunity to build critical thinking and problem-solving skills, as well as learn delayed gratification. Each of these offer important, long-term benefits.
When you teach your children to change their mindset regarding boredom, they gain the privilege of learning to adjust to, andembrace the quiet. Without learning this skill, they may never be stillenough to hear God speak to their spirit.
When you allow your children to be bored, they learn to confront and be joyful in unpleasant or uncomfortable feelings and to seek the truth of God, as well as His understanding and guidance of emotions.
When you allow your children to be bored, they learn the important lesson that they don’t have to enjoy every activity they do, enabling them to develop discipline and commitment, skills they will carry into adulthood.
When you allow your children to be bored, they receive the opportunity to deepen attachment and connection with you and Christ. While sometimes children need to sit in silence to discover self and God, this time can also become a beautiful way to find and enjoy simple activities together that may lead to meaningful memories and constructive conversation.
The more comfortable you are with silence and boredom, the more comfort your children will find. Embrace being bored and find the purpose behind silence. Let your children find new activities and interests. Help them develop the unique personalities and talents God purposed into them when they were fearfully and wonderfully made.
Dear Heavenly Father, You are the Great I Am, the maker of Heaven and earth, as well as us and our children. You are so kind to allow us the time and space to embrace both the quiet and the busy. Please equip us and our children to honor You with both. Please help us as mothers to mentor the way to enjoy boredom so that our children seek You for guidance and ideas when they find themselves desiring more than what they have been given. Help them to look at boredom as opportunities to know and follow You more closely. Help them to carry the ability to sit well in silence, but to do so with godly balance and not with laziness. Help them to find beauty and opportunity in each new day and help us present that attitude to them in the way we approach life. Thank you that You give us beautiful seasons of life with busyness and quiet. Help us to learn how to use each in ways pleasing to you and thank you that we can see You in all things. Help our children use the beautiful minds and interests and talents You have bestowed within them in ways that fulfill the purpose You have for them. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Supporting and encouraging mothers to rest in Christ and pursue a holy relationship with Him so they purposely raise set-apart children is the cry of my heart. Godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset a mother carries. That’s why I’ve created the Set-Apart Collective.
Have you decided peers and culture won’t be the main influence over your child? Would you like to parent to prepare your child for eternity with Christ, not to repair a relationship? In the Set-Apart Collective, you will deepen your walk with Christ, learn a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family. The Set-Apart Collective is open now. Please send me an email at info@terrihitt.com to let me know you’d like to receive information or look online at terrihitt.com/setapart. We can also set up a 15 minute call to chat about details. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ.
If you connected in some way with this episode, would you please rate and review the podcast on Apple or Spotify? It only takes a minute or so and makes a big difference in people finding the podcast. You and I know that the best reviews are by word of mouth, so would you please choose a friend to recommend the show to? Let them know that the podcast is found at terrihitt.com, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Imagine the change we will see in the way mothers parent for Christ if they learn to be intentional, too.
Remember, if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection.