Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 098 - The Holy Role of Parental Authority - Who Sets the Guidelines in Your Home
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 098 – The Holy Role of Parental Authority - Who Sets the Guidelines in Your Home?
Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast deepens your walk with Jesus and your children, and equips you to become a set-apart woman raising children to chase Christ over culture.
When we brought our youngest daughter home from China, she was nine years old. For most of her time in the orphanage, she was isolated from speaking to or eating with others. This was because they kept her in a smaller than American porta-crib in what was called, “the crib room.” During this time, she was also harboring ear infections that deteriorated her congenitally small bones and nerves. Because a urine bacteria microbe festered untreated for nine years in her ears (on top of other health issues), we’ve been told more than once what a miracle it is that she is still alive. Sadly, this is only a small portion of her story.
It's said that the most difficult language to learn is Mandarin Chinese because of the linguistics, complex characters, and tones used. Our precious daughter was not exposed to enough Mandarin or any language to learn it. When she came to the United States, she had several medical issues that needed to be taken care of as quickly as possible, and one of them was her ear infections. After finding out which antibiotic to use from the Mayo Clinic, we ere able to finally rid her body of bacteria that had festered for years on top on oral infections and a severe heart condition. Again, she truly is a miracle.
Once she had ear reconstructive surgery, she was able to hear better, but then after receiving hearing aids, her ability to hear and produce speech was much improved. She still doesn’t have wonderful hearing, but I am amazed at how much she was able to learn by sheer perseverance and the blessings of God, good medical care, and technology. Her favorite period of history is pioneer times, but I’m thankful that she lives now - in the 21stcentury, so she can receive the medical care she needs.
Why do I share this bit of her medical history? I believe it’s interesting because of the amount of words in our English language. Can you imagine suddenly being immersed in another language?
Whether it be English or Mandarin, not many of us have been forced to move out of the only environment we know and fully jump into another culture and language. The amount of words, slang, sentence structure, punctuation, and all that goes into communication would make that jump overwhelming for most of us.
It is reported that there are approximately 170,000 English words currently in use with around 47,000 obsolete words. That’s so many, yet I still thought there were much more. However, it is noted that there are around 600,000 definitions published in the Oxford English Dictionary. I’m sure that includes more words no longer in use or perhaps even slang that wasn’t included in the “real word” count.
As you may know from listening to this podcast, I love to look at definitions. One I want to share today is simple, but interesting and powerful. It’s the meaning of the word authority. “The English definition is, “a power or right delegated or given; or authorization.” Remember that definition.
Now here’s where I think this gets more interesting. There are two words used in modern Hebrew for the word “authority.” First, let me remind you that I’m not an expert in Hebrew, so my pronunciation may be awful, but please forgive that and focus on the meanings I’m sharing.
Both Hebrew words are said to have originated from the Bible. Sahm-khoot is used more commonly and means, “placement.” Lees-mohkh means to “rely upon.”
Let’s review. We have the English definition of authority meaning “a power or right delegated or given.” We also have the Hebrew word meaning, “placement.” The other Hebrew meaning is, “rely upon.”
Why do I find these words so intriguing? When you think of parenting, remember God purposed the children you have to you for this very season. The maker of heaven and earth and all people chose you and issued authority to you over His children.
Deuteronomy 11:18-20 says, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
As you ponder the various meanings of authority in English and Hebrew, you see God’s intentionality. Your Heavenly Father delegated His precious children to you. He placed them in your care, giving you the power and rights to raise them to know and love Him. He relies upon you to do so, and in return those children relyupon you to make godly, loving choices as they rest in your care.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
As you think of the power and privilege God has bestowed upon you to parent His children, consider these four questions:
1. Do you set the expectations and rules in your home or does God?
2. What influences do you allow to affect your children?
3. Are you following worldly values?
4. What guidelines are you using to evaluate your answers?
Let’s start with the first question. Do you set the expectations and rules in your home or does God?
As you evaluate your home, meaning your lifestyle, personal desires, and choices think about what is currently happening. Think about what is going on in your personal life and the life of your home. How would Godview those events and innermost thoughts?
Think about the way you live, the activities you pursue, and the words you use. Do they honor God? Or do you and your family members cause God to mourn as He watches your daily activities?
Is God the one in charge of what transpires in your home? Or are you and your family furiously moving from activity to event that you barely have time to talk to each other, let alone make time to know God intimately? Do you and your husband purposely teach your children to seek God first? Does your family know God’s desires and the way He would guide you to live and act because you study His Word together?
Do you or your husband impose rules on your children because of expectations set on you as children? Or are you seeking God first and asking Him to parent through you? Are you praying for God to reveal the purposes He set in your children so you can teach them God’s Truths and help them find His purposes for their lives?
Questions two and three go well together, so we’ll consider both of them now:
What influences do you allow to affect your children?
Are you following worldly or biblical values?
As you continue to evaluate your home life and the people God has purposed as your family, can you see what influences are attracting and affecting your family? Are you aware of them in day to day life? Or are you neglecting to safeguard your children from the cultural and societal effects of this world?
Do your children set family expectations because you’re lenient in monitoring devices and activities? Or do you or your spouse find inspiration and direction from God’s Word and set godly authority in your home? Are you ignorantly chasing the world’s standards to dictate your parenting style? Or do you proactively learn about shifting trends and potential dangers so you don’t let them into your home?
Proverb 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Now, our last question: What guideline are you using to evaluate your answers?
Do you understand the difference between godly values and those of the world? Do you think the phrase “of this world” is outdated? Do you strive to continue studying God’s Word so His Truths are foremost in your mind with your relations and in your communication with your spouse and children?
Does God’s Word set the standard for how you discipline and raise your children? Do His truths build the behaviors and actions between you and your spouse?
2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
Is the Bible your source of Truth and direction? Is God’s holy Word what you rely on for protection and provision as you seek and follow His ways and truths? Do you teach them to your children?
I know these are a lot of questions. They all stem from the four I originally asked. But each is so important for digging deep to evaluate where your heart and mind reside. Make time to consider your answers. Learn where you need to work and ask the Holy Spirit to do a good work in you and your spouse.
You may want to look at the transcript of this episode after listening so you can read the questions again. Allow yourself time with God so you will hear Him speak to areas He may be calling you to release to Him. If you find places where He is speaking in your heart, be thankful, not ashamed. Know that God forgives a repentant heart and desires to cradle you in His capable arms and keep you and your precious family in alignment with His will and purposes for you. It is then that you will experience true freedom and joy that will last into eternity.
Dear God, You alone are the Good Father. We thank you for Your everlasting love. Thank you for generously offering us all we need to live lives that reflect You and carry great purpose and love. Please help us to establish Your guidelines of Holy Authority in our home. May we seek You first in all things, especially our personal lives so that we inhale and exhale You to our children and spouse. Please cause us to be aware of the subtle ways we neglect You. Help us recognize the times we fail to seize opportunities you have given us to deepen our walk with You or lead our children to Your arms. Equip us to stand in bold declaration that we will make time for You regularly and help us do it. Help our lives match what our lips profess and help our children to be even closer to You because we are purposeful in leading them to the feet of Jesus. It is in His precious name we pray. Amen.
Raising children is challenging. No one has all the answers because each child is unique as are parenting styles and family dynamics. By connecting with and knowing your children as you maintain purposed growth in Christ, you will be better prepared for any situation you face.
That’s why you hear me share about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast. I work with professionals who care about making Jesus known to their children. Are you a high-achieving woman who loves Jesus, but is so busy with the rush of work and daily life that you feel like you’re being drained like the water in your bathtub? Do you yearn to get closer to Jesus and show Him to your kids so you will create a love that will last into eternity? The desire is there, but your days spiral out of control before you even think about opening your Bible.
Do you ever stop to think that you are the first Jesus your child will see? Let me remind you there is hope. There is a way you can be equipped to raise kids who chase Christ over culture. If you want a connected relationship with Christ and your children that leads them to your side and His feet, instead of them seeking validation from peers, I have an 8-step program to move you from frustrated to fulfilled. I will show you how to reflect Jesus in a way that attracts your family to a connected relationship that lasts into eternity.
Remember, godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset you carry. If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will arm you with a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You’ll also deepen your identity in Christ so you can mentor the way for your children to do the same. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family and you will have the tools to raise set apart kids as you parent the heart, not simply the behavior.
Does this sound like a lifeline to help you be that set-apart mom God has entrusted you to be? Visit terrihitt.com/coaching and click the link for a free, no obligation conversation call with me. This is a strategic call where I will hear your biggest struggle and show you how to turn it into a blessing that will bring you closer to Christ and your children. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make yours matter for eternity.
One last thing to remember - if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will likely sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ.