Purposed Parent Connected Child Podcast Episode 110 - Ways to Show Your Child Christlike Character Every Day
Welcome to the Purposed Parent/Connected Child podcast – Episode 110 – Ways to Show Your Child Christ-Like Character Every Day
Thank you for sharing your day with me. I pray this podcast gives you the awareness and tools you need to STOP being a GOOD mom and BECOME the GODLY mom God entrusts you to be. Then you will be the SET-APART woman PURPOSELY raising children to chase CHRIST over culture.
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Now on to this episode about showing your child Christlike character every day. The truth is that what we say matters, but our children will emulate what they see.
When we brought our youngest home from China at the age of nine, I was already praying about how we would show her the truth of Christ. I quickly realized that simply the way we reacted to her exhibited the clearest view of Him. Simply put, I would be the first mentor of Jesus she experienced.
Because she never had a loving family to care for her when she was hungry, tired, or afraid, because she didn’t have a mother or father to lovingly wrap arms around her and clean a scraped knee when she fell, she was not used to affection. She didn’t want anyone to show her extra attention or make a fuss over her.
The day after we received her in China our family went downstairs in the hotel to an extravagant breakfast buffet. An entire room was filled with gourmet dishes and food pieces that probably made Brooklyn feel she lived with a royal family (if she would have known what that was). We each took another piece of bread from the buffet and brought it with us to feed to the koi fish in the pond at the back of the hotel.
Afterwards, we took a walk in the sunshine around the building grounds. There were small hilly areas and as she ran, Brooklyn tripped and fell down a small hill. Of course, we went after her immediately. I could see that one arm and knee were grass-stained and her knee was a little bloody.
“Are you alright?” I asked her.
As I reached to hug her, she turned away and walked across the grass. I had seen what she didn’t want known. She was hurt, inside and out. Tears were filling her eyes. Bravely, my wisp of a toddler size 2 daughter tried to maintain the strength of an adult. It was the power my nine year old had depended on to survive alone for years.
Brooklyn didn’t want the touch of strangers when hurt. Even though we seemed kind to her, experience proved she couldn’t rely on others. Any sympathy we showed threatened to open a dam of tears, exposing more emotion that she was equipped to handle. Kindness was painful.
This was the first of many times she would reject our loving touch or words. Although she couldn’t yet understand English, she knew our tone was consoling. She felt that our touch was loving, but didn’t have experience with that emotion. Everything was much too tender and raw. Love hurt. It was risky and unknown and through previous experience, she knew it wouldn’t last.
Now, after nine years and extra months with us, (longer than she was in the neglectful orphanage), we have a beautiful, redeemed relationship. Redeemed, you might ask? Yes. I stand by that word. Redeemed means to be delivered from sin and its consequences. Though she had a challenging and heartbreaking beginning to her life, our daughter’s situation was redeemed through Christ.
Because my husband and I love and follow Jesus, we recognized the Holy Spirit when He told us we had two daughters living in China. He led us to them and we were able to begin a life of lasting love and laughter together.
Now both of their lives are redeemed through Christ. Jesus is their personal Lord and Savior and they serve Him well.
When you love God and honor Him with your heart, mind, soul, and strength, you will beautifully mentor His characteristics to your children moment by moment, day by day. No matter how long it takes. Because you are committed to Him. To them. That is one example of showing your children Christlike character every day. We cultivate the soil, sow the seeds, and pray as God does the transforming work.
I believe that is what Mary did so effortlessly in the first chapter of Luke.
Luke 1:26-38 says,“In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”
“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”
The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.”
“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.”
This story always leaves me in awe. Not that I idolize Mary, but I respect the position she was in. The attitude of her heart and mind were in alignment with God’s destiny for her.
I adore the intimate way God knew to approach Mary and the way she responded. I aspire to always be aware and obedient to where God calls me.
Mary exhibited beautiful, Christlike behavior.
I want my children and husband to say they see me exhibit Christlike character. That means Imust be dedicated to God and purposed in my relationship with Him. I must stop grieving the Father by submitting to the Son. That is the foundation of Christlike behavior.
Do you also desire to be purposeful in honoring and obeying God so that you show your children Christlike character each day?
Moment by moment?
You can’t do so unless you are submitted to Christ.
It is His power working within that allows you to become more Christlike. It is His power working within that allows you to shine Him to your children and draw them to Him.
Each day we grieve the Father in small or large ways. So let’s focus on what characteristics we consider to be Christlike. The first words most of us think of are:
Patient, Humble, Honest, Courageous, Loving, Forgiving, Obedient.
This is a great list to begin with.
Now consider…do your children witness you exhibiting these qualities?
In what ways do you exhibit these fruits of the Spirit?
Now let’s consider the opposite. What characteristics can you think of that are not Christlike?
Angry, Disobedient, Dishonest, Unforgiving, Impatient, Prideful, Arrogant, Hateful, Fearful.
Do your children see these qualities in your daily life or interactions?
Do your children exhibit these qualities in their life?
Take an honest look at the way you act, react, and live your life. Are there times you gossip, show unrighteous anger, refuse to forgive, anger quickly, show pride instead of humility? Each of us do in different ways. Some of us are more susceptible than others, but we are works in progress.
So are children. So is your spouse.
Humbly ask God to reveal areas you need to submit to Him. Ask Him to show you where you are misleading your children, whether in ignorance or defiance. This is something I do in my own life. I know that when I ask God is going to expose something specific.
Remember, you are the living example of Jesus your children see. Your Christian walk will attractor repel them.
Little eyes and ears see and hear your mistakes daily.
As you follow God and react with the strength of the Holy Spirit inside, you are equipped to exhibit Christ instead of flesh. This is central to teaching your children Christlike character.
Being aware of how God requires you to walk is an important step. Micah 6:8 says, “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
Using daily moments to grow, learn, and teach by example and His Word are critical in showing Christlike behavior to your children, Not only do you use these ways to grow your children in Jesus, but you also use these methods to grow self.
Think of how often you are presented with opportunities for growth daily. A crazy driver, too much change at the store, a co-worker who gets on your nerves, a misunderstanding with a family member or friend. Your relationship with your spouse. The loss of a job, illness, or the death of a loved one. Each of these are opportunities to allow the Holy Spirit within to do a good work through the ways He comforts and carries, stretches and grows you.
Your children also present a variety of ways to teach them godly characteristics. Telling the truth rather than a lie, getting along with friends at school, taking up for someone who is being bullied, listening to a teacher, keeping a bedroom clean, respecting parents,..again their list is endless.
Consider these moments opportunities, not hindrances. You are an imperfect human raising imperfect humans. Your children are being shaped into the image of Christ. That is hard work! You cannot complete that work alone, just as you cannot complete the work in yourself alone.
How blessed you are when faced with opportunities to direct your children to Jesus. Your attitude and actions, your reactions and joy in the Lord will lead them to His feet if you use irritations and mistakes for Him.
This leads me to an important point. Don’t neglect addressing ungodly behaviors. King David is a great example of this. His negligence to use godly instruction with his children created terrible and deadly problems down the road.
Do not let sin take root. When your child exhibits characteristics or behaviors that need guidance, take responsibility to mentor godly behavior.
Any behavior that is not Christlike is a sin. Don’t condone or dismiss ungodly words or ways.
Sometimes parents think a sin is small or they don’t have time to take care of a problem when it presents itself. Use the moments when they come. Plant the godly seeds that will bring a Christlike harvest if you continue to tend the soil and weed the garden.
Likewise, when you see Christlike character exhibited in your children, compliment their behavior. Children learn by example and appreciate praise, as well. A genuine compliment goes far when shaping godly behavior.
Pray for and with your kids. Let them hear you pray with specifics for them. Tell them you pray for them when they’re not around, as well. When they hear you praying Scripture over them or hear your complimentary words to the Father, or when they hear you requesting Christlike behavior for them, they know you care. They know you pay attention. Follow up with praying for specific Christlike behavior for yourself with them, too. When they ask you for prayer, do it right then with them.
When your children know Christlike behavior is important to you because it is important to God, and they see you walking in the ways you preach, they will pay attention. Christlike behavior becomes an objective and priority for them when it is an obvious goal for you.
Romans 13:14 says, “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”
This verse clearly instructs us to put on the Lord Jesus. Wear Him. Wrap Him around you like a shield.
This command in Romans 13:14 instructs our children, but also us as mothers. As women. We must show our children the way to wear Christ. When He resides inside of us, we are renewed through the Holy Spirit. Our clothes, our character are washed new over and over again as we are transformed through wearing Christ.
The world says to raise self-reliant, kind, ambitious kids. God demands that we raise godly kids with Christlike character.
Children who submit to Jesus and obey His Word and ways, who love Him, who desire to please Him, serve Him and others, forgive others, and live with discernment, not judgement will exhibit Christlike behavior that continues to be renewed and refined.
In order to mentor Jesus and Christlike behavior to your children, remember that you receive opportunities every single day. Don’t overlook them. Don’t waste them.
Be an example of Christ and use other examples that present themselves daily. The Christlike character of others and Bible stories are wonderful examples.
Life moments always carry messages and meaning. Find ways to weave teaching moments through them without being preachy.
Culture continues to change. Society has moved away from following God, but He has not disappeared. Bravely stand for what God calls. As you deepen your relationship with Him through Jesus, you will be more and more equipped to hear and obey His voice. Question what is presented in books, magazines, music, schools, movies, television shows, etc. Be discerning and teach your children how to be discerning and disciplined in purposely listening for God’s voice. Unless you teach them Christlike character in these areas, they will follow the world, not the Word.
Instead of looking for ways to punish mistakes your children make, parent the heart, not simply stop behavior. When you discipline, you are providing discipleship.
Be intentional. Parent with purpose. God has entrusted His precious children to you. Become the Christlike parent He calls you to be to raise children for Him.
As you place God first in your heart and mind, as you allow the Holy Spirit to lead and direct and move with joy and obedience, your children will experience what Christlike behavior looks like and how it responds and reacts day to day.
Dear Heavenly Father, how great You are. What a blessing you have bestowed on us to parent Your children. Reach our hearts, dear Father. Help us to desire You and become more Christlike day by day. May we seek the moments in life that allow us to train our children in godly behavior. May we take the opportunities as they come and use them with joy and gladness directed by You. May we place mentoring You first amidst the activities that distract our days. Help us remember that this life is not a dress rehearsal. We are on stage for our children to watch. All we do is seen and evaluated by them. Equip us to be Christlike mentors who are a sweet fragrance that brings them to You and shows them how to build their own house of faith that will last into eternity. In the precious name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Raising children is challenging. No one has all the answers because each child is unique as are parenting styles and family dynamics. By connecting with and knowing your children as you maintain purposed growth in Christ, you will be better prepared for any situation you face.
That’s why you hear me share about the Set-Apart Collective in this podcast. I work with professionals who care about making Jesus known to their children. Are you a high-achieving woman who loves Jesus, but is so busy with the rush of work and daily life that you feel like you’re being drained like the water in your bathtub? Do you yearn to get closer to Jesus and show Him to your kids so you will create a love that will last into eternity? The desire is there, but your days spiral out of control before you even think about opening your Bible.
Do you ever stop to think that you are the first Jesus your child will see? Let me remind you there is hope. There is a way you can be equipped to raise kids who chase Christ over culture. If you want a connected relationship with Christ and your children that leads them to your side and His feet, instead of them seeking validation from peers, I have an 8-step program to move you from frustrated to fulfilled. I will show you how to reflect Jesus in a way that attracts your family to a connected relationship that lasts into eternity.
Remember, godly parenting is rooted in relationship with Christ and the mindset you carry. If you don’t want peers and culture to be the main influence over your child, if you desire to parent to “prepare” your child for eternity with Christ, not repair your relationship with them, the Set-Apart Collective will arm you with a Christ-centered Motherhood Mindset Model™, and create a Purposed Parenting Plan™. You’ll also deepen your identity in Christ so you can mentor the way for your children to do the same. You will be a purposed mother with an intentional mind and heart set on Christ and your family and you will have the tools to raise set apart kids as you parent the heart, not simply the behavior.
Does this sound like a lifeline to help you be that set-apart mom God has entrusted you to be? Visit terrihitt.com/coaching and click the link for a free, no obligation conversation call with me. This is a strategic call where I will hear your biggest struggle and show you how to turn it into a blessing that will bring you closer to Christ and your children. It’s time for believing mothers to be purposed in preparing their children for a lifetime pursuit of Christ. Time is short. Make yours matter for eternity.
One last thing to remember - if you’re not purposed in knowing Jesus and showing Him to the next generation, the world will sway your children away from Christ. I pray that what you hear on this podcast enables you to stop being a good mom and focus on being a godly parent. Until next week, keep looking Up while focusing on new ways to parent with eternal purpose and connection with your children and Christ.