It's still easy to remember those difficult nights I awakened at 4am to feed my middle daughter. At 44 years old, those sleep disturbed nights were tough! Since I had already raised two, I knew this was simply a season, but months of broken rest left me completely exhausted.
One morning I had just slipped into bed. It must have been around 3am, and I had just gotten our baby to sleep. As soon as my head rested on the pillow and I turned to my side, sleep rushed over me. It lasted about two minutes before our girl started crying again. I was not going to leave our precious daughter crying when she had been alone for months. She needed to know she was safe and I could be relied on. As I fell to my knees after getting out of bed, I prayed for God to sustain me and give me exactly what our girl needed. One night stands out as lovely reminder of His presence and provisions.
That early morning as I rocked my sweet baby in the moonlit corner of her bedroom, I envisioned our future. Her future. Because I had brought her home from China when she was ten months of age, I felt like we had already lost precious time. As I thought about what we had missed, I felt a stirring of possibilities within me. Instead of thinking about what I considered lost, I needed to focus on all that we had to look forward to together.
I began praying specific prayers for our future. The life she would live. The impact God would make through her. I even prayed for our home - the literal house we lived in. We had already raised two children, our son and daughter, in that home. It was a sufficient three bedroom, one bathroom home that had been filled with memories created and captured over 22 years. The floor plan, however, especially the fact that the house had only one bathroom that was connected to our master bedroom and did not have a profile easy to add to, had left us wondering if we should finally make the move to another place as we began raising another daughter.
As I quietly fed, rocked, talked, and sang to my girl, I also petitioned God. If it was His will that we move, I asked Him to show us His path. I wasn't sure if it was selfishness or submission, but I began telling God all the features I would love if we ever found a new home. Sharing my heart felt good. I knew God already knew my deepest desires, but I also knew He understood even more deeply what I needed. He knew the plans He had for me, my husband, our grown children, and our beautiful baby. Plans He had ordained before the beginning of time were already set. He knew where we should be living and for what purposes, but He still wanted to hear my heart and intentions.
As I prayed the desires for my dream home out loud to God, I envisioned the space. It wasn't the grandest home, but it was certainly a larger, more convenient floor plan. Especially because it had more than one bathroom! Adding more of that modern convenience was the number one necessity in my mind. Although I didn't need it, I also requested a home office. For some reason, it had always been a secret desire, a place to set aside for important purposes. In my heart, I desired a home office as one of my top requests, right under another bathroom, of course.
As months passed, we began looking for a new home. Nothing seemed to be the right fit until we found a story and a half that seemed perfect. At the last minute the contract fell through because the bank wouldn't let the seller continue. When I asked our realtor if she could find another home with that floor plan or one similar, she began a search that eventually led us to the exact plan. The day we toured the home was so exciting! After walking through the home, we didn't choose to purchase the place, however. In the same neighborhood there was a home that was similar, but larger, with tiny, significant details only God knew we would appreciate.
We've now lived in the home I prayed about for eighteen years. In it, we've held ministry meetings, Bible studies, hosted adoption groups, held overnight visitors, and began ministries for God. My office allowed me to easily produce two podcasts that honor the Lord. In this office, I created a women's collective and various resources that point others to Him. We've also adopted again and have enough bedrooms and bathrooms to keep everyone happy.
Could we have done the same things in our old home? Absolutely! But only God knew that moving to my dream house would allow us to meet the people who have become important in our life. Neighbors, churches, and community events that we wouldn't have been a part of if we had stayed where we were living were meant to be what continued growing us in Him.
I consider the house I prayed for to be a different kind of dream home. Why? Although I had a list of qualities that would be nice to have, I didn't pray for a place that would impress others or be the fanciest in the neighborhood. Instead, my heart deeply desired a home full of the fruits of the spirit. I wanted a house that held Jesus within the walls of our heart.
When we humbly follow Him, and come before Him with a desire to please and honor Him, He recognizes the cries of our heart. Sometimes He gives us exactly what we request. Other times He doesn't. But His answer is always good. Each time He listens, He cares, and He offers us His very best for the situation and to bring us nearer to Him.
Nothing is too far from His ears or reach. Just as He heard my prayers and answered in such meaningful and specific ways, He does the same for you.
Now the same rocking chair I used so many nights ago to rock my daughter as I fed, sang, and talked to her and prayed to God sits in my bedroom instead of a nursery. It is the same rocker I sit in every morning to spend quiet time with God after awakening, the same chair that I use to cuddle under a warm blanket and speak to God before the day begins. This "prayer chair" has reminded me that my Father is faithful to me. Just as He is faithful to my daughter, my other children, my husband, and to you. He still listens and goes before each of us, surprising and surpassing us with His ability to carry us exactly where we need to go. No matter what our special needs and requests may be, if we hold open hands and a humble heart willing to accept what He offers as our best, we discover He provides and protects with exactly what we need.
Just as I have spent time in my rocking chair inside my dream home, you may have a special place in your home dedicated to time with the Lord.
What do you hear Him speak to you?
Is there anything that God is calling for you to release to Him?
Are there pieces of your heart that must be mended in ways only God can do?
Are you living in a house divided from Him?
Are you in a home that needs the peace of God and the hope that can only be found in Christ?
Aren't you thankful our Father carries a deep and abiding love for each of us? He hears our pleas and crafts loving plans filled with godly purpose. Sometimes His plans are fulfilled in the desires we lift to Him. Other times, we sell ourselves short with dreams far below what He has purposed for us. Trust in God to guide and guard as you place your doubts, questions, and aspirations in His ever-capable and loving hands. His goodness and grace know no bounds. His gifts are perfectly and personally designed. As thankful as I am for the home we now live in, I treasure the knowledge that despite what might happen on this earth, because I am a follower of Christ, one day I will live in the ultimate dream house for eternity with my Savior.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am." John 14:1-3
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